Graduation Grief

Happy Last Day of Finals! At last, we are wrapping up our Spring 2020 semester, ending with beautiful weather coming to our happy, secluded part of the state; however, despite the sunshine, what usually is a time of celebration has become one of discomfort. Because of the national pandemic and stay-at-home orders, in-person ceremonies for graduations across the country are postponed or relocated to an online ceremony - Northern Vermont University, both Johnson and Lyndon campuses, are no exception to this.

While many of our seniors are still able to graduate and receive their diploma, there is a heavy feeling of loss attached to the end of this semester. Those feelings you are experiencing is grief.

Know you are not alone, and your feelings are valid. Grief and loss during a moment of disruption during a pivotal point in your career is very real; graduation is a part of your life and holds symbolic meaning to all that you've worked for, the memories you've made, and the connections you've developed, and celebrating alongside friends, families, mentors, and your community.

*Please note that suicidal ideation at this time can increase. If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to a health professional, the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255), or call 911*

It is perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed and, quite frankly, angry at this profound loss. The pain you are feeling is sincere, so the best step in processing grief is to acknowledge it. Tend to the heartbreak by accepting that it's there, it is real, and it hurts. And know students aren't the only ones grieving: professors, faculty, staff, directors, alumni, and the community is grieving with you.

By acknowledging your loss, you've effectively recognized that what your feeling is normalized, and doing so is important because it allows for you to accept your emotions, which will ultimately bring a final sense of closure that you need in order to move forward.

Know that healing is not linear, and moves in phases: there are 5 stages of grief commonly accepted in psychology: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Wherever you are in this stage, that may change come tomorrow. Remind yourself of your strength - you can get through this. Accept, and continue on, at your own pace.

Another positive way to move forward to is finding new rituals. For instance, although a virtual graduation ceremony may not hold the same symbolism as an in-person ceremony, it is still an opportunity to connect with your community, and to be proud in your accomplishments while celebrating your hard work (check out this link for more information on the NVU Graduation Ceremonies this weekend).

In an especially vulnerable time, take a moment to focus on yourself and do what is best for your well-being. If you are an individual who finds relaxation in physical health, perform your favorite exercises and motivate yourself in that way. Talk to others, especially those who are going through the same stages of grief as you. Give yourself permission to feel those relapses of mourning, but also allow yourself to feel happy and escape from burden. Resist the temptation to isolate yourself, even if that might be all you can imagine doing right now - seek out comfort of those whom you live with, or reach out to a friend virtually. And be sure to get plenty of rest and eat regularly. This may be hard with feelings of being overwhelmed, but if you commit yourself to a steady schedule, and set expectations, you are more likely to achieve them and improve your mental and physical well-being.

And most importantly - know this is temporary. While the event of graduation may have turned out differently, your efforts at NVU are still appreciated and valuable. The work you attributed to your success, both on and off-campus, is valid, and will open opportunities for you afterwards. Wherever you fly next, you have a community of people supporting you and celebrating your incredible achievements. With or without a graduation ceremony, we are NVU-strong!

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